“Thank you so much for this. I am extremely traumatized by nonconsensual tickling. Does that sound silly? Yes. Was it silly? Fuck no. It was torture. My uncle never stopped. He would hold me down under a bean bag and put his full weight on it. He’s like 6 feet and 200 pounds, and I was a smaller-than-average girl at 3 to 8 years old. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t get away. It was horrible. Even as I grew up, my friends and random fucking strangers would always ask, ‘Are you ticklish?’ and fucking touch me without consent. They thought it was SO hilarious, and of course tickling causes uncontrollable laughter, so they think it’s funny: ‘If you don’t like it, why are you laughing?’ I had so much of my bodily autonomy taken away, and it stuck with me for a LONG time.” —u/RussianCat26 “Shiiiiit. I think I just realized why my mom and I are so similar when it comes to our lack of confidence. She also speaks so highly of me but does the opposite for herself. I am the same. I am trying to relearn. It’s difficult.” —u/RogueLotus —u/haelett “Agree. Telling daughters that being single and unmarried equates to failure is just toxic too.” —u/KangarooOk2190 “When my kids were preschoolers, I used to let them be ‘Boss of the Day’ once a week. “They had responsibilities to do, but they also got to make decisions. Their power had natural limits. For example, even though they were my boss, they couldn’t make me spend my money if I didn’t want to. “But I also tried to say yes, as I would with any boss. If they wanted an ice cream at 8 a.m. on a cold, wet morning, they got it. If they wanted to watch TV, they could. But they also had to make sure lunch was happening and that their siblings’ nap time happened at the right time, etc. “It was great for self-esteem and for making decisions.” —u/breadfruitbanana “I think too many girls are raised to be ‘good’ or ‘sweet,’ meaning quiet and obedient. “I plan on telling my daughter to always be her most authentic self. Period. Be loud. Be outrageous. Be angry when someone pisses you off. Cry when you’re sad. Tell people off. Say what you want to say. Love the things you love. Don’t let anyone keep you from being you, and don’t let anyone silence you.” —u/FuzzyBlanketThrow
