Conclusion: Not only would I poop in here, but I would pay Bryce Dallas Howard for the privilege. Conclusion: I would poop in here while blasting one of the greatest songs ever written. Conclusion: I would 10000% poop in here. Conclusion: I wouldn’t just poop in here; I’d make a day of it. Conclusion: I would love to poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but tbh, I’d feel a bit bad about it because this room is just so beautiful. Conclusion: I would be ecstatic to poop in this bathroom. Conclusion: I wouldn’t kill to poop in here, but I would consider it for a hot second. Conclusion: I would feel extremely rich pooping behind columns. Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided I get a subway car all to myself. Conclusion: I’m moving into this bathroom, so I hope Demi tolerates squatters (pun absolutely intended). Conclusion: If I was ever given the honor of pooping in this bathroom, I would talk about it for the rest of my life. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here and feel secure in the knowledge that no one would accidentally walk in on me. Conclusion: You know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could poop here tonight. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would have the healthiest poop of my life in here. (Seriously, Squatty Potties are AMAZING. 10/10, absolutely recommend.) Conclusion: If I could, I would poop in here forever. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Or live in here. I’ll take what I can get. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would take a luxury poop in here. Conclusion: I had the best poop of my life in Japan, so I imagine I’d feel nearly euphoric pooping in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would love to poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom, and Tan wouldn’t even know I’m there because he has his own personal pooping bathroom. Conclusion: I would love to poop in here. Conclusion: I would very cautiously poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom, and Tan’s husband wouldn’t even know I’m there because he has his own personal pooping bathroom. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: Yes, pooping would occur in this bathroom. Conclusion: In the words of Dwight Schrute, “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.” And an idiot wouldn’t take a shit in this bathroom — so I would. Simple. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here, because David is known for fostering shitty environments. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop next to those hats. Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided the toilet paper isn’t IN the toilet. Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided the toilet is less weird than the chair. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I hope that by the time I reach retirement age, I’ll be able to afford a bathroom like this to poop in. Conclusion: I would poop in here, preferably while wearing a pair of MK’s signature sunglasses just to get the whole Michael Kors Pooping Experience™️. Conclusion: I would definitely poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here and hope that Tommy spent some of that money on gold-lined toilet paper. Conclusion: I would get my daily dose of vitamin D while pooping in this bathroom. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: The only reason this bathroom isn’t higher on the list is because I’d feel guilty for pooping in a room this beautiful…but I wouldn’t not poop in here. Conclusion: It would be an honor and privilege to poop in the private oasis that is the Prime Seafood Palace restroom. Conclusion: Sure, I’d poop in here as long as Cara isn’t home. (She scares me.) Conclusion: I would poop in here and pray for silence. Conclusion: I would poop in here just to solve the Foot Art Mystery of 2k23. pun very much intended Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom as many times as Nate and Jeremiah let me. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I’d rather poke around to see if Taylor Swift’s red scarf is hidden away somewhere. Conclusion: Give me this room and a phone, and it would be a fine poop. Conclusion: If I were a teeny tiny doll, I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here as long as the plant doesn’t tickle me while I’m on the toilet. Conclusion: I would poop in here while admiring the decor. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: All of me loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. (That’s what I would sing to the toilet bowl right before I poop in here.) Conclusion: I would scroll TikTok while pooping in here. Conclusion: thick Boston accent Ask not what your bathroom can do for you — ask what you can do for your bathroom. (You can poop in it.) Conclusion: I would poop in here, bitch. Conclusion: It’s just a bit too exposed to comfortably poop in here, but I would uncomfortably poop in here. Conclusion: I would feel very secure pooping in this bathroom behind the thick sound barrier. Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I wouldn’t be able to look Kacey in the eye after. Conclusion: I would love pooping in here after eating one of the many excellent Binging with Babish recipes. Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: This bathroom used to be a whole-ass bedroom, which is a weird renovation choice to make. It’s fine, but too big. I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would take a shadowy poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would not walk a thousand miles for this bathroom, but I might walk, like…five miles? And that’s still more than I usually walk in a day!! Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. (Here’s your obligatory “don’t cha wish your girlfriend would poop like me?” joke.) Conclusion: All that being said, I would still poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would take a quiet poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here and probably catch my reflection from 12 different angles on all this chrome. Conclusion: I bet no smells linger in this bathroom because of that wall-sized window, so I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would take a very dizzy poop in here. Conclusion: I guess I would poop in here?? But I might bring a crystal in with me just to be safe. Conclusion: I would take a very boring poop in here. Conclusion: I would take an extremely basic poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here if I ever found myself in Scott Disick’s house, but the chances of that are quite literally zero. Conclusion: I would poop in here if no one was home, I guess. Conclusion: I would poop in here, especially if I was inconveniencing Adam while he impatiently waited for the bathroom. Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom, but I would be self-conscious the entire time. Conclusion: I would poop in here, and I would have a blast. Because of the bidet. Get it? Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: Call me Fortunado, because I’d poop in here out of sheer curiosity. Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided the toilet isn’t marble. Conclusion: I would poop in here if it was an absolute emergency, but I would hate every second of it. Conclusion: I would only poop in here if my dignity was on the line. Conclusion: Ground Control to Major Tom, take your fiber pills and turn your bidet on. (Yes, I would poop in here.) Conclusion: I would poop in here well before 7 a.m. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I wouldn’t be a returning customer. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but only in an emergency. Conclusion: I would poop in here. Conclusion: I would poop in here and use that time to ponder what JJ and his designer were going for with these materials and colors. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I would resent the BYOB policy. *Bring Your Own Book Conclusion: I would poop in here, but only if Hilary played the guitar for some added ambiance. Conclusion: I would poop in here after the exterminator swings by. Conclusion: I would poop in here if there were no other options, but I wouldn’t be happy about it. Conclusion: I would poop in here if I could bring my own bat repellent spray. Conclusion: I would once again poop in here if absolutely necessary, but I wish everyone would realize that we left cave living in our past many thousands of years ago. No human in 2023 should have to poop in the dark. Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I’d be too busy with TikTok to notice the deer art. Conclusion: I might poop in here, but former Try Guy Ned Fulmer recently created such a shitstorm in this office that I think they’re all set on poop for a while. Conclusion: I would poop in here if a doctor assured me that my ass wouldn’t fall off from frostbite. Conclusion: This is a solid 4/10 bathroom, and I’d poop in here in a moment of need. Conclusion: I’d poop in here if I was already in the sauna and couldn’t wait. Conclusion: Jury’s out on whether I would poop in here. (The jury is made up of all those people on the wall.) Conclusion: I guess I would poop in here, but I’d feel really uneasy about it. *I’m mulling over the very real possibility that he may be a vampire. Conclusion: I would poop in here if I could bring my SAD lamp. Conclusion: As long as Vanessa hired a professional to plumb (?) this bathroom, I would probably poop in here. Conclusion: Same as his other bathroom with a black toilet. Conclusion: I would take an incredibly low-res poop in here. Conclusion: I would not poop in here. *The other thing being that I’m not absurdly wealthy. Conclusion: I would not poop in here unless it was a life-or-death emergency. Conclusion: I don’t think I have it in me to poop in here. This looks like a place spiders live, and I just don’t possess the mental constitution to take that chance. 6 Celebs With Impeccable Home Decor And 6 Whose Choices Make Me Physically Anxious
